5 Stages
by TheBigDamnSavior
Summary: Maura Isles is experiencing one of the most irrational human emotions, Grief.  This the story of her going through the 5 stages of Grief.  Post 2x15. *Contains Spoilers*


I hope you enjoy this. This will be my last new thing for the year.

So, Happy New Year's.

PS. Anything in _**bold italics **_is a flashback of Maura's

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><p><em>Grief <em>_is defined as the multi-faceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed. __According to the Kübler-Ross model, there are five stages of grief. Five emotions that every person experiences after suffering a catastrophic loss, one comparable to the death of a family member._

_First, comes denial, a defense mechanism in which the person resists accepting the truth despite evidence supporting it. It was first suggested by Sigmund Freud. _

_**No, this can't be happening.**_

_In time, the grief-stricken understand that the denial can no longer continue, at which point they become angry._

"_**Don't you dare touch him."**_

"_**Maura, I—"**_

"_**No, Jane, you killed him. You killed MY FATHER!" I yelled at her. "And you killed my only chance to find out who I came from. So, go, leave, so I don't have to see your face, the face of a cold-blooded killer," I spat. Jane got up, visibly holding back her tears, and as she walked away, a quiet sob escaped her lips. **_

"_**Doc, she was only doing her job."**_

"_**No, Detective, she was just catching a perp. He was not even pointing a gun at her. He was already wounded. She just wanted to finish the job."**_

_This is followed by the bargaining stage, during which the person desperately tries to postpone death or in some cases, hopes to revive the dead. _

"_**No, Dad. Please, don't die. Tell me her name, please. Just don't die."**_

_Then, depression, during which the truth sets in and one grieves over their loss._

_**I took some time off from work and cut myself off from the outside world completely. After deciding that staying home and drinking was not doing to help anyone, I decided to stay with my mother in the hospital. "Maura, darling, what's wrong? Why aren't you at work?"**_

"_**Everything's fine, Mom. I just wanted to be with you."**_

"_**Maura Isles, look at me. I am your mother; I know when something is wrong. Tell me."**_

"_**Jane did something, something horrible."**_

"_**Sweetie, she is your best friend. What could she have done to make you so full of hatred?"**_

"_**She killed someone."**_

"_**Was it someone close?"**_

"_**Yes."**_

"_**Who?"**_

_**I sighed. "Patrick… She killed my father." My mother looked shocked.**_

"_**You knew?" she asked bewildered.**_

"_**Yes, I found out last year. I did the autopsy on his son, Colin." After that, I explained the entire situation to her in the hope that she would side with me.**_

"_**Maura, sweetie, I want you to listen to what I am about to say."**_

"_**Ok."**_

"_**The thing you have to understand is that Jane is a police officer and in that moment when she saw Patrick point a gun at her, her instincts took over. Her choice was not conscious, it was one of self-preservation. You need to see it from her side. Now, let me ask you this: Did she look remorseful about her actions when she ran over to you?"**_

_**I sighed and replied, with a simple "Yes."**_

_And, finally, acceptance, at which point, the grief-stricken come to terms with mortality and understand that there is no changing what has happened._

"_**What else did her face tell you?"**_

"_**She looked shocked, horrified, guilty, and ashamed."**_

"_**Is that the face of a cold-blooded killer, dear?"**_

_**I looked down at my lap and said, "No." **__It was at that moment that I realized that Jane was not the evil human being that I was trying to convince myself, she was. _

_Sometimes going through these stages takes moments, sometimes it doesn't. Jane never did come to the funeral, maybe she didn't want to, or maybe she couldn't. _When I got home, I found a letter on my doormat. It only said _Maura_ on the front in familiar handwriting. Resisting the urge to tear it up, I opened the envelope and inside was a note.

_Dear Maura,_

_ If you tear this letter into little pieces, I will completely understand, but if you don't, please just read it, I beg you. Maura, I am so so so very sorry about what I did, but saying sorry will never fix what I have broken or get your father back or remove the blame, my blame in all of this. I just want you to know that I am filled with so much regret about the fact that I let my instincts take over, and mostly, I am so ashamed and I feel eternally guilty. Maura, you are my best friend, but most of all, you are family. So, in a desperate attempt to try to get us back on at least speaking terms, I am begging for you to forgive me or at least try to start. Please. _

_Jane_

I must have stared at that letter forever before realizing that Jane is truly sorry. I grabbed my keys and drove to the one place I knew I needed to start with. I climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. After a few minutes of knocking and still no answer, I used my key to open the door and I called out, "Jane?" When no one answered, I walked in and looked around, when I saw a figure in Jane's bed. "Jane?" I asked as I neared the bed, fearing the worst. So when Jane stirred, I was relieved and at the same time, I wasn't because it meant that I would actually have to go through with this.

"Maura?" she groaned. Jane looked like she had been drinking quite a bit in the recent days. Her eyes were sunken and so pained._ She was crying_. But when her eyes met mine, I saw the faintest glimmer of hope in them; hope that everything would be ok.

"Yes. It's me."

"You got the letter," Jane half-stated.

"Yes and Jane, I think I forgive you, at least a little bit." She sat up.

"You do?"

"A little. We still have a long way to go, though."

"I understand," she said sadly.

"But, I do understand that you were just reacting to the threat of a gun being pointed at you."

"Thank you," Jane smiled. "I am incredibly sorry; I just want you to know that."

"I know."

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><p>Please tell me what you think<p> 


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